horses and camels in hotel bars

Question. Which one runs faster?

An arabian horse?
Or a camel?

These are the kind of things I've been stuffing into my head lately. I've spent two days this week hanging out at the Richmond hotel in ortigas with my father's friends from back in the academy. It's quite fascinating.

I sit there, in an ambient lit room , sipping light beer and munching on cocktail food midst high-rollers dressed in fine-tailored barongs and suits. So much for a high-powered atmosphere. Oddly, I feel so comfortable there.

You won't believe how many times I hear the introductory phrases, 'At the end of the day,' and 'When all's been said and done.' And then I heard this so many times, 'You gotta earn your keep.' Or, 'What sets apart ordinary mean from great men is the willingness to go the extra mile.' And papa's favorite, 'It's not about dying for a cause, It's about killing for a cause, and what better cause can you have than to kill for a friend,' now don't take it literally, but that's some heavy shit right there.

These are men at the prime of their life and have gained a substantial amount of hardcore street wisdom. There is no better lecture than to sit with these men, my father and his buddies, and listen to what lessons they have to preach to me. An I just sit back, drink, munch, and smoke while I nod my head perceptively and absorb the wisdom of the streets, or as Lito bluntly puts it, this 'f***ing crazy world.'

And, oh, I just came from an interview. Well, to place it in a more colloquial way, 'sisiw.' I am such a cocky bastard. And tomorrow I have another interview. This time this is the money shot. Wish me luck.

So, which is faster?

In a 100 meter race the horse will no doubt win.
But in a 3 mile race, the camel will prove victorious.

Now, you might say this current parable-slash-question is flawed in the animal planet sense of it, but the lesson just makes up for that flaw.

transient lights

(just another sad poem... words, however, still defy this profound moment. a futile attempt)

Head nestled in a soft soft pillow,
My mind was getting ready for dreams,
But the words I heard from your lips,
Banged inside me like gongs,

Nicotine couldn't snuff it out,
Neither can melodies of love,
And Night invited me to share,
With her Sublime melancholy.

I stepped out the back door,
Looking at plants that were once green,
Vaguely colored with nocturnal shades
While they gave off that nightly smell.

And then I cheered when I saw,
A throng of fireflies swirling the mist.
I skipped my way towards the lights,
Thought maybe I'd catch a a glower or two.

Maybe I'd hold one in my hands,
And let her warmth engulf my chill
She'll bring delight to my eyes
And perhaps a tad bit of peace

But daylight came to my utter dismay,
And the glowing swarm flew away,
My hands empty as I stood there,
Melting in the heat of day.

:(

cliche

Now for a cliche topic. Love. Amor!

I just had a thought about it. Why are we so fascinated by it? Why are we drawn and attracted to people in such an insane way? Well, I have this theory...

That if we find ourselves in love, we discover or find comfort of some kind. Being with someone that we love gives justification to whatever past events that may have led us to the arms of our beloved. It erases all regrets from the past. We find joy in the fact that everything that took place, be it horrible or sublime, took place because there is the illusion that destiny inexorably brought us together with that person. Everything is justified, even the whole history of mankind. We start to think or feel that if the Spaniards hadn't colonized us, we would find this person that we love, or maybe if that guy did not eat out of my lunch box in fifth grade, none of this would have taken place...

Yeah, you're right, I just saw one of dem chick flicks. I can't believe I'm writing this. :)

this blog will self-destruct in five seconds

Good food, good movie, good place, and good crowd: how can the night possibly go wrong?

Let’s start with the good food.

By some divine providential force, my cousin has gotten hold of 1000 pesoses worth of Haagen Dasz Gift Certificates! Haagen Dasz! Ohhhhh. My mouth still waters when I reminisce that ice cream soooo creamy, utterly rich and divine! Most of the experience is indescribable. I had 2 scoops of blueberry cheesecake flavor. It touched my mouth as if I the whole creation blossomed inside my mouth. Or maybe I’m exaggerating.

For the movies, we got a bag of Doritos, a bag of Lays, and a bucket of popcorn for all four of us to share. We only got halfway through each of them.

Then the movie.

This one gets rave reviews for me. Screw the critics who keep claiming that this film has performed below expectations! What would you expect from mission impossible? I mean, would someone really expect an intelligent film?

The stunts were just stunning. It literally kept your heart beat like the hooves of stallion on cocaine! There were several parts in the movie when I said, “wow.” I kept nudging my cousin at my right, just to reassure myself that I’m not so easily amazed. This one really pushed the envelope on extreme action. I saw things I’ve never seen on an action film. And I’ve seen lots of action films. This is more of a stunt flick, than one of those karate-wushu-kickbox-streetfighting movies. And oh, you’ll have more explosions than the pops that your popcorn would take. Think of all the expensive things they blew up! The action is almost eye candy, or maybe eye spice. Whatever you call it. After the film we kept on relishing our favorite parts, “Hey, you know that scene where…” and then “Yeah! It’s so cool!” And yeah, we were still brimming with action after it.

But there were several points in the film when it just seemed too silly. And I think they really screwed up with the name of Ethan Hunts agency: IMF. What does it stand for? Impossible Mission Force! Give me a break! Impossible mission force. For the love of whatever we hold dear!

So yeah, I got what I just expected from mission impossible: pure, explosive action. It’s not so memorable as to give me profound life realizations, but it sure is as entertaining as a rollercoaster ride! Once in a while we all need ‘just fun’ films. I’m kinda’ tired with all the serious stuff I’m watching.

Damn, I’m so sure MI3 publicity people will pay me good money for this one. Hehe. (I wish)

And more good food.

Before we went home, we had a stop at Fazoli’s for some Italian and had a nice intelligent chat.

On our way home, a horrible loop in our head played the Mission Impossible themes song! Wahhhh. LSS! “dun dun dun dundunun dun dun dun dundunun, tenenen!” Over and over and over and over. It drove me wild. We were actually chanting it. Insane.

growing molds on my body

I'm a bum.

This fact makes my spirit weep. When I first walked the earth, it was instantly obvious that I had fire and wind in my soul. They kept thinking I had worms on my butt, or something. I was always itching for something. I'm a restless spirit. And right now, I think I have been put in peace for far too long.

I graduated march 25th this year. And what's the date now? March 13th. I couldn't help but think how unproductive I am!

Now why am I thinking this? ahhhh. right. because I have no money. I have no bloody freakin money, no moolah, no honey from the pockets, not a drip of blessing from mammon, not bit of sweet sweet rustblood-smelling paper, NIL!

I haven't left home in four days. Now that's a terrible thing to befall someone like me. This is some world class ranting right here.

But there's another devil whispering into my ear... "enjoy it Adrian, It's for the greater good, for the salvation of your poor body, enjoy it. Surf all day, read less, watch tv, eat a lot, don't exercise, MWAHAHAHA!"

I guess by now you notice that I have just went up a notch in the 'retard-O-meter.' Spawning imaginary friends and ridicilous-sounding and ear-whispering imps.

but that's cool - like some thing I heard from a James Bond film, "The line between genius and insanity is drawn only by success."

hospital drama

We visited my grandfather yesterday, my dad's dad, at the Philippine Heart Center. A already saw him last weekend when he was still up north at tugegarao. He was recently transferred by ambulance from there because, hell, he won't last longer if he stayed up there, for lots of reasons.

Last I saw him, he was already recovering. Which is good. Or I dunno. He's already 79 years old, I always exclaim that he has gone a very long way in life. People in my father's side of the family tend to reach a very long age. My immediate family ain't really for aging, we're more of be successful and die young types.

Anywhooo... the hospital room with my grandfather in it throws me into an awkward mood. When he greeted me with his toothless smile, I smile back. But maybe I do give out this awkward vibe because I was thinking in overdrive inside that room, full of pointless ponderings. He looked so sickly, so frail and so helpless. I don't mean to feel sorry for him, but males in our clan tend to be mighty and vibrant, and you could really feel that part of him drained out.

But something bothers me. Aren't I supposed to pray that he get well and live for a couple more days or months, or perhaps even more than a year? Aren't I suppose to pray that he be able to do stuff again, and get out of the hospital? I'm confused because I'm in this mood of acceptance that somehow he would die in one flash of a moment, he has already done so much with his life, soo much that he would leave his family a mammoth of legacy. All efforts to revive him and prolong his existence will leave people a memory of him being utterly frail and perhaps partially handicapped. I seem to find that hard to bear. So there, I don't wish for him to survive this ordeal much longer, neither do I wish for him to die. I just stand by and think... whatever may come shall come. I feel sorry for him also, in a certain way. As a child, even until now, I always fantasize our clan being a tribe of warriors. And seeing him like this makes me sad. Because warriors don't want to perish in a soft bed reeking of antiseptic, they want to fall in the heat of a mighty battle- figuratively, of course.


and oh!-on a much lighter note. The nurse who's assigned to my grandfather's a girl from my distant past. Someone I knew intimately and is now the girlfriend of a friend of mine, my batchmate actually.

Sometimes, the world can just shrink so small... it becomes smaller than my balls.

So yesterday, I saw the guy(yeah the boyfriend) and we were both on our way up, him to fetch his girlfriend whom I knew intimately before, and me to see my grandfather. We both saw the girl at the nurse's station as we passed by, and there!!!!! And the award for BEST AWKWARD MOMENT GOES TO...

I'd rather not go to details. You get the picture. hehehe

procastination and global warming

The blogging continues...

I've been a whole lot these past two weeks. I've been to Baguio for almost three days and to Tagaytay for a day. The whole lot of what I have experienced seems too overwhelming to blog it all.

Should I blog everything that happens?

hell no.

But I sure am a great procastinator! First class five star procastination is my talent.

I've been putting off blogging and everytime I put it off it seems to grow into a burden, when it's really not.

Everytime I put off something I take a step backwards. And I'm back where I started.

Procrastination and Laziness. Is it the weather?

BTW. Fuck the weather.Fuck the motherfucking scorching hellish ovenbaking microwave-ready hi-octane race-car exhaust burning hot magma weather.

Shit... my head hurts. And I'm cussing too much. I might have a toothache again soon.

I am now departing to my antartic fantasy... see yah!