living?

When it's three AM and you still couldn't get some sleep. Take a shit.

It's just been slow. As if I have been dragging my whole ass to this minute of my life. It's not really depressing, but somehow, I can feel the oil on my forehead as vividly as the light of my monitor pricks my eyes. Yow.

I've been unable to touch smokes for three days now because of some nasty cold, from which I have fully recovered recently, so maybe I'm going to grab a cig or two. Make that three.

My lower back's aching. I've slipped down to this phase of mine where I hibernate, physically, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, and whatever human faculty I can put to rest.

MAybe this is what Zen feels like. For a minute. I have no ambition, no desire, no sorrow, no pain, no regret, no hunger. Just a nagging feeling to take a shit. So maybe that's what I'll do.

Then the Zen will fade away.

I'll pay my credit card bills tomorrow. Without a job, it's not that pleasing a task. Whatever.