Angst Vocab

my new favorite word. ABSURD.
runner up? PATHETIC. but I'd rather spell it - pathetique.

I've just graduated! yay!

I'm just surprised. I'm supposed to be whooping with joy.

then there's another word : EMPTY.

I should have known it would be like this. For a long time I relied only on myself for joy.

Then suddenly I decide that this person can bring my happiness as I have never known it.

Then there's sorrow. Sorrow that's not even inflicted by the other person, but SELF-INFLICTED. Brought about by thinking too much. If only she knew how much it would mean. How I could slide back to myself and be, once again, a proto-monster.

Funny, but somehow I feel I needed this dose of agony. I've written 3 poems now. all equally tawdry. now comes the stage of SELF-HATE.

And beyond everything. beyond all these dark forces, I am forced to smile. A smile that is almost villainous. I feel tingling comfort inside my being. Because deep inside I know that all this is necessary for my own experience of the SUBLIME.

to Summarize : ABSURD. PATHETIC. EMPTY. SELF-INFLICTED. SELF-HATE. SUBLIME.

oh, did i say I just graduated? YAY again! well, seriously, I find it hard to feel the joy when sitting in a room stifled with cigarrete smoke.

( Oh Adrian, Grow up and stop being so angsty! :P )